Game of Thrones

Anyone else signed up to NowTV just to watch Game of Thrones for the next however many weeks?

Yup, me too. Now, we don’t have Sky, because when we booked a Sky engineer to come and install a dish, he did that very annoying sharp intake of breath thing, then said he couldn’t do it because of health and safety.

Yawn.

He also asked could we contact whoever owned the tree across the road (Network Rail) and ask them if they could possibly pull it down otherwise we’d have no signal… errrrm no babes. Screw you Sky engineer.

So here we are with NowTV.

Now, my husband and I LOVE Game of Thrones. I’d say it’s probably the only thing, we’re both equally into. Needless to say, we are very excited indeed that it’s back on the telly. So last night we watched the first episode of the final series. Here are some thoughts that popped into my head…

I wish Jon Snow would ride me like a dragon. Or a stallion. Or a pony. Actually a quick fingering or even a dry hump would do.

They sure do have a lot of hairspray flying around in the Seven Kingdoms. Lady Sansa, Arya, Daenerys Targaryen all have locks as stiff as a pack of fish fingers in a deep freeze. I’m surprised at Daenerys’ bonce being so highly flammable with all that dragon fire flying around. The Winterfell branch of Superdrug has a lot to answer for.

Jon Snow and Daenerys have about as much on screen chemistry as… well… a brother and aunty I suppose.

Is it just me or was anyone else wondering why they left poor Bran in the courtyard in the snow for literally a whole feckin episode. He must have been freezing his poor nuts off out there, and it’s not as if he can jig around to keep warm is it? Someone could have at least chucked him a beanie or a snood.

Anyone else find it a bit much when the Grayjoy sister headbutted her brother just after he saved her. Ungrateful cow bag. I mean the poor fella’s had his cock chopped off love, give him a feckin break.

Aw Sam. I love him so much. I have a feeling he’s going to save the whole of the Seven Kingdoms in a – Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter – kind of way. Let’s all get down to Ladbrokes and place our bets shall we?

The best line of the whole ep has to be in the whore’s scene, where they were talking about some bloke who’d had his eyelids chopped off, ‘How do you sleep when you have no eyelids?’ Prossie one says as her pal’s casually humping Bronn. Defs a LOL from me.

So there we have it, ep one!

Entertaining AF, cheesier than a cheese board (at times), but sooooo exciting. Literally cannot wait for the – We’ve been shagging, but you’re my aunty reveal and the return of the Night King and his terrifying, evil dragon. FIVE MORE SLEEEEEPS!!!

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